This weekend I have been granted a three year Visa to stay in South Africa. This means that unless something unexpected comes along, this will be my home indefinatly. Happily that is the only thing I know for certain. In the past this would have filled me with fear but not any more. I no longer have fear, I lost that when I stopped drinking and followed the AA programme (that sounds so blerrrgghhh, I'd stop reading now if I was reading this, but it's the truth). I was reading about potential the other day and it made me think. What is my potential? Well a year ago I would have said I had none. The only goal was to survive and to not pick up a drink. In itself it is a miracle that I didn't and the miracle happens daily by the grace of God. Today in the Sunshine at an event, the first of it's kind I had attended since getting sober, I was seemingly bombarded by people drinking. Everywhere I looked I saw people drinking and laughing and offering me samples of cider or beer. I could literally have lapped it up but I knew I couldn't. The addict in me tried everything to convince me I would be ok to have a few or that I was alone so no one would know. This is of course nonsense as I don't just do 'a couple' and it will 100% lead to a downward spiral worst than last time and without being dramatic, death would be the only outcome, my life certainly wouldn't be worth living. All that and drinking still felt doable! It was harder to resist than me trying to sell 'Jim'll fix it!' merchandise outside a primary school, It was only a stretch of an arm away. I speak as many of my friends whom I was in rehab with are drinking and using again, I knew the statistics but I was kind of hoping that my batch would defy the figures. Anyway, they don't and the seriousness of this addiction needs no more explanation other than people die, friends die. I didn't drink and I thank God that I will go to sleep clean and sober tonight.
As far as potential is concerned, I don't believe that my potential has any bounds. It's a miricle that I am here and I feel re-born. I don't get stressed about things and most of all I don't need to drink. I'm in Africa which is a nation that certainly opens my eyes and makes me appreciate all that I have rather than all that I've lost. Family and friends are important and as for my potential, if I can get through just one day like today, I can achive anything that God has planned for me and that excites the alcoholfreeme.com